Is this you?
There are times when we want nothing more than the truth…even when it hurts, disappoints, betrays and wrecks our confidence in others. The TRUTH can close doors so new ones can open. The TRUTH sets us free. The TRUTH can fire us up and motivate us into positive action: leaving an unhealthy environment, ridding ourselves of toxic people, relationships and vacating situations where we do not belong.
But not everyone is going to be honest. Some people are so caught up in a web of delivering falsehoods that they can’t even answer yes or no to a simple question.
You want to know where the relationship is going but you’ve asked in the past and received the same answer. If the relationship is not evolving like you hoped, you already know you won’t get the truth, so don’t bother asking the question. It’s time to move on.
You wonder why your spouse keeps missing dinner. The kids want to know why their mom or dad isn’t home. You’ve asked repeatedly. He/She says they have to work late. But he/she never did or had to work so many late hours in the past. Get to the real bottom of what his or her late hours entail. Confront it head on and work toward a positive resolution.
Truth: I’m no psychologist. But I am a truthologist. The truth might nick me for a little while, but it also will fire me up once the bleed stops.
Not too long ago, I got pulled over for speeding and the police officer asked, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
“I have no idea.” I told him.
“You were going sixty in a forty mile per hour zone. Now why were you going so fast?” he asked.
At first, I sighed, not wanting to reveal the truth. Thinking a lie would serve me better. Then I spilled it. “Someone keeps asking me for money, and I just know I am about to get hit up again, and I am fed up with it. I guess the more I thought about it, the harder I pressed the pedal. And for that, I am sorry.”
His response, “I have someone that keeps asking me for money, too, so I understand. I’ll tell you what I’ll do…I’ll let you go if you promise to tell them no.”
A huge thank you to the police officer! We had a gentleman’s agreement. And I was surprised and ecstatic that the truth I was certain would get me a ticket is the truth that spared me from the ticket.
All situations and circumstances are not the same. Someone asks if their outfit looks nice and you say it does because you do not want to hurt their feelings. Why not just say, “No. I think another outfit would accent your figure or be more flattering. I’m not crazy about that one on you.”
If you are lying to your partner or spouse regarding your whereabouts or your true feelings, why not just say, “We need to talk. I am not happy, and I want to tell you why.”
Who knows? Open and honest communication can save marriages, relationships, business relationships, and friendships or it can release others to move on so they find better.
But when you have asked the question more than once or multiple times to try to get to the truth of the matter and you continue to get the “runaround” or feel someone is hiding the truth or skirting around it, don’t bother asking the question. This is the time when you do whatever it is you need to do to live your truth and make life work and happen for you.
Written by Kathryn Kaufmann © August 8th, 2018